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Saturday, 28 July 2012
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, each prayer accepted and each wish resigned. posted at 14:00
This is a spontaneous post, on a warm, slow Saturday. Time's pooling, like honey. I thought I would write something about one of my most recent favourite films, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I first watched this with Tinker and Pebble - we sat in the dimness of my living room, sharing a bowl of popcorn and a green blanket. I missed a few details in the beginning because we were talking, but the film swept me up like a wave on the (snowy) beach - I was swallowed, tumbled, and left on the fresh shore of something new. The film was magical in all kinds of ways. What struck me hardest was Joel gathering all of the memories he shared with Clementine. He stuffed them in those rubbish bags so quickly. You want to empty your home, you want to empty your life, of Clementine. Being one to be very emotionally attached to things, I fear I am a hoarder, a packrat. I like to keep things, remember things. I've never had my heart broken before but I wonder if I would be so impulsive as to throw away every object that sends a hurtful memory ramming into me. After all, feeling complete sadness is better than feeling numb. "Blessed are the forgetful, for they even get the better of their blunders." - Nietzsche Blessed one way, but cursed the other? Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Clementine. You are lost and gone forever, dreadful sorry Clementine. The good always comes with the bad, and I think I'd keep everything to avoid the feeling of something missing. And whenever Joel said that his life wasn't all that interesting, I lined his words up against my own life. I've only lived sixteen years, and they've been easy years. I hope they've been interesting, peppered with monumental events and turbulent emotions. Maybe I'm on the cusp of a "Great Perhaps". I've only lived sixteen years. After the film, we went out onto my empty street and played hide-and-seek with torches and raced to a lone streetlight and back to my front garden. We lay on the gravel and star-gazed (the stars were bright that night, the moon was hiding) - Osidius the Emphatic and our friends were in the sky (a haphazard triangle and five others blinking close by). The moon came out yesterday, a half-moon. I was walking home as it got dark, slipped under the giant tree and spun around under the curling branches, watching it glow. It has a hypnotic effect (unless that's just me). Tinker, Pebble and I have howled at it when it was full. Just to end the post, here's a slowly growing list of my favourite films (I like lists... and still, so many good films I need to watch):
I know. What do we do? Enjoy it. Shrooms. |
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