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Saturday, 2 February 2013
the map of shrooms' year posted at 23:15
Over the weekend, I decided it'd be a good idea to buy one of those mammoth year planners to stick on the white wall space over my desk. And suddenly 2013 looks crystallised, compressed into some rows of lines that don't go on and on at all. I can see everyone's birthdays, when we graduate, when our final exams are, when I can fly overseas for the first time in my life, to spend a month adventuring with my best friends - all spread out, clarified, like a book on how to string together all the constellations scattered across the sky. And the night sky's enveloping all of us. I remember when reading for my art studies, one artist described time as not something that passes or flies by, but accumulates and gathers like sediment. So history is rather more like sedimentation, heaped together and continually building. Our lives are growing sand dunes. I saw a beautiful sunrise on Friday morning when a great billowing cloud glowed pink, beyond the houses at the end of my street. This weekend has been incredibly comforting, especially after the exhausting first three days of term (writing on a deadline is emotionally draining). I keep on having dreams about smoking cigarettes, particularly with strangers. Okay, this is a post in which sediment is flying all over the bloody place and getting in everyone's eyes. I think I will go off and read about a family of circus freaks and life based on James Joyce's Ulysses soon. Hah, how pretentious. Do I dare to eat a peach? I shall wear white flannel trousers and walk along the beach. I read the poem over and over again a few days ago because I needed some inspiration for poetic rhythm and musicality. You know, I'm probably one of the women coming and going from the room talking of Michelangelo. A lot of the time I feel like I'm sitting and simmering in a pot of pretension. When I can't sleep I write lists. Because I like to do things in small steps - except when I'm eating. Ah... sighing in words. Okay, I'm getting distracted now by the moaning wind outside. Goodbye; go disturb the universe. You have now been caught up on this week's bout of self-investigation. Shrooms |
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